My life. What is going on with it. I'm leaving for London in a month. I have been keeping my feelings pushed away, I guess because I don't want to admit that I will miss Syracuse. Although this was the worst semester of my life and I would never want to do it over again, as I sit in my empty apartment alone I am thinking about all the people I will miss. My bessie came over to say goodbye, she made me a drawing. I gave her an awkward goodbye. Was i always this bad with goodbyes and emotions? I feel this semester has taught me to keep things inside and I cant determine is its me becoming an adult or if i am just escaping real feelings. Its lonely in here. I came back from a brief (but fantastic) stay in camp hill only to see everyone leaving for home. Is this what being on my own will feel like? No comfort? No friends? But everyone says to go out of your comfort zone that you learn etc. etc. Ugh but seems like all good things include struggles. is it so much to ask for a life without constant struggles? but would it be a life worth living? sometimes i feel like i know so much and sometimes i feel like i know nothing at all. maybe i should take a step back and just see where life takes me. I dont know
this post is far too deep. I will regret it.
time to study...or watch the rest of Something's Gotta Give (what a fabulous movie...)
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